Chef M

23 November 2009 @ 07:05 pm

watched parts of MAMA on youtube.

YG owned the whole of MAMA i guess, since SM decided to boycott. like wtf? why so childish? why so petty? tell me why. why destroy what you created? is it me or you are just ridiculous?
damn. money tears people apart.

well anyway, was pretty impressed by the 2NE1 stage and also GD's stage. YG simply poured money on them. the stage and the performance was WOWZ.

achieved a great step in my individual project just now. all i needed was just a start to keep things rolling. focus and focus and focus.

shall continue watching MAMA.

time will tell.
faith will grow.
and when we see the rainbow,
it will be the end of all.
time and faith is all i have to offer.
this im sure will never buffer.
just remember,
smile like you did, and always do.

together, forever.

Current Mood:

sleepy

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18 November 2009 @ 11:24 pm

rolling rolling rolling.

keep rolling rolling rolling.

just got my license! im pretty contented with my skills now. just some confidence and more practice will do.
school projects are hitting me and im sick. i cant function so well when my mind and body are not in sync.

out of my mind: is something new which i felt recently.

monsoon season is here! so there will be rain and more rain and even more rain coming.
what a perfect time to slp now.

nothing can bring us down cos we have faith.
i believe in you. and that's all we need to know to keep on going.
no matter what happens, i will stand by you.
when i say i will, i will.
you are already a part of me.
we are the one, eternally.

Current Mood:

content

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14 October 2009 @ 11:22 pm

my honey, my queen

omg. i wasted my whole day sleeping and shopping online.
wanted to exercise but the plan failed.
i have come to accept reality and god's plan.
why go against the flow and screw life up?
just enjoy and live life as it is. WOOHOO.

big bang big bang big bang. omg
move to the music baby.
let's go party. work that body. WOOHOO
clubbbbooooo friday nightttt yooooooo.

my honey, my queen.

Current Mood:

high

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07 October 2009 @ 12:21 am

for you, i keep my faith.

always keep the faith, the faith
it will bring us together
and there'll be no more tears, no more
no one can tear us apart.
nothing will bring us down.
i will only stand by you,
and always be there for you.
soon, we'll be together, forever.
with smiles and laughters, remember.
so believe in this,
always and forever, keep the faith,
with love.

Current Mood:

hopeful

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07 October 2009 @ 12:02 am

lost

I'm lost for feelings.

unsure of how it happened.
unsure of what i should do.
little things means so much to me
and it hurts me so much.
i'm losing my way.
i'm losing myself.

when they say "rainbow after the rain"
they didnt tell you which rain.

do we always need to learn from
regrets and disappointments.
if only i could stop wanting so much,
it would stop hurting so much.
i didnt ask for alot, but it seemed too much for you.
there's no such word as definition.

when love turns hatred, i call this self-destruction.

afterall, you just dont get it, dont you?

Current Mood:

blank

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06 October 2009 @ 01:18 am

i wish i could see through

RANDOM: i just checked out desiree's livejournal and i must say that yoochun is really charming and cute. so people out there who thinks that he doesnt look good, i think your eye sight and taste are failing you.

Anyway, played arcade basketball just now and I kept shouting I was tired & out of breathe & going to die & dont wanna play anymore, WHILE i was throwing the basketballs. I think i made a scene. HAHA. but i dont think anyone paid any attention to me, right? haha.

St James was fun. Thanks KM. You know i do love you & thank you & hate you at the same time right?
Let's GO GO GO!

Drop by workplace just now. Somehow I feel attached to that place. But I love hanging out there THAN working there. Honestly, I am ready to leave that place anytime cos I know that our relationship is good and I know that it will remain the same even if I leave.

I dont like it when I have to doubt the "realness" of a person. Life's going to be so tiring if I need to be on guard 24/7 when meeting people and making friends. But honestly, I cant help but start to get worried cos its not just 1 but 3 people who are telling me about it.
Do I call it superficial or fake friends? Well, until I really see it & realise it & experience it & witness it, I'm going to be as neutral as I can be.

MABEL'S SO MATURED! WOOHOOOO.

Current Mood:

sleepy

Current Music: Stylish; Big Bang

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02 October 2009 @ 03:11 am

down and out.

once again, im back to the same spot.
getting so sick of it, again and again.
how hard can simple be.
is it too much to ask for.
or you just aint listening.
if you doubt me, dont tempt me.
i dont believe in rainbows anymore.
truth, not lie.
this is a selfish world. know it now or never.
once again, im back to the same spot.

when life gets down, get wasted and out.
take it, leave it, hate it, fuck it.

Current Mood:

sick

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19 September 2009 @ 07:13 pm

expectations; no more

After having 2 consecutive screwed up saturdays, i think i'm starting to destest weekends. maybe i should start working full-shifts at bakerzin so that weekends pass faster? for my past 19 years on earth, weekends are almost like____. i used to ~~think~~ or should i say hallucinate that weekends are family time, weekends are fun, weekends are for bonding and blah blah black shit.

i dont deal well with disappointments.

im like 19 going 20 next year and people still thinks that im too young to make any wise decision on my own, or that im irresponsible, uncapable of taking care of something else other than myself. who says that teenagers are any worst than adults? i swear that some adult's mentality cant even be compared to a teenager. WHO says that its correct to use age to gauge a person's mentality and responsibility? wtf.

when i say i wanna do something, i have already thought about all the consequences and blah blah black shit. why do you guys doubt me? do i have to tattoo it on my face to prove that? BULLSHIT. who says that people who keep touching dogs are people who truly love dogs? who knows that they might actually be the ones who neglect or even abuse them.

honestly, how do i prove myself when you dont even believe me and give me a chance?
why should i even give the abandoned dogs a chance when you dont even give me a chance to give those dogs a chance?

so now what? i need to have time, money, a big house to adopt. does it mean that i have to be a rich and bored housewife?
oh please, if im rich, do i have to adopt?

what's the point of having expectations only to find yourself oh-so disappointed every single time?
im so sick of this. SO SICK SO FUCK IT.

Current Location: HOME

Current Mood:

disappointed

Current Music: Heartbreaker; G-D Baby

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17 September 2009 @ 03:22 pm

my little affair.

its been about 3 years since i loved the five boys who have turned into man. last night, i had an affair with big bang's g-dragon, now im feeling soooooooooooooo bad about it cos the affair didnt end last night. wellllll, bad boys attracts me, i guess.

normally , he looks like this.

but sometimes, he looks like this

hi new love!

im at home feeling so unhappy now. i think "love makes you sick" is SO true. love makes you act sick so you dont have to go school and you can be at home with your love in ur locked up room so that they can make love or whatsoever. they are seriously making me pissed off. i dont wanna be the one who keeps informing my mum about wtf they are doing at home. pls get out and go other place cos you guys are getting into my life circle, which is making me uncomfortableeeeeeee.
i think i need to live alone. i dont like outsiders to be at my home. so FFFFFFFFFFFFFF OFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

ok, i promise to listen to tvxq at the end of everyday.

Current Location: HOME

Current Mood:

pissed off

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31 August 2009 @ 10:59 pm

hello red butterfly

lost posted: 27 weeks ago.
somehow i feel different from how i felt 27 weeks ago. do i call it maturity? i dont know. feeling oh-so-emotional now. with flashbacks of some past. and no, im not dying any soon. holidays are here and i wish to let myself grow during this period of break. sometimes little things gets me thinking and thinking. i really enjoy thinking and the process of linking it up. i guess my mind is pretty amazingly screwed up. haha.

you know, i know, they know.
the butterfly : special yet forgotten.
the traffic light: when it turns red, it means stop.
the round and rounds: there will be an end.
you know? i think i know. nothing.

hello red butterfly, nice to see you again, bye

burn me with fire, may the rest rest in peace.
when they rest, its time to live.
i keep my faith eternally.

Current Mood:

hopeful

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20 February 2009 @ 04:22 pm

plain shit.

omg. im the maddest person on earth now.
i totally cant believe my results. what the hell is wrong man. totally shit.
i have no idea who i should kill.
i so wanna email shawn tripp and ask about my food review. i did hand in! how is it possible to get a F? and the most frustrating thing is. i cant find his email in the staf information. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

this is my worst semester. and the worst part is, i did put effort into it. OMFG.
!@#$%^&*(&^^%!@#$%^&*

damn. should not have check coursework grades. it totally killed every single thing in me.

Current Mood:

frustrated

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04 February 2009 @ 10:05 pm

MOODSWING OR WHATSOEVER YOU CALL IT.

millions of things are rushing through my mind. If only they are money, I will be happier to see them in my mind.

Its hard for me to go through what im going through now.
Its hard to draw line between work and personal. I hate it.
How on earth do i do this? Pls enlighten me.

~~I seriously hate group work and projects.~~
I hate it when people dont put in effort in what ever shit they are doing.
I hate it when people are slogging and others are slacking.
I hate life for being purposely unfair.
I hate every single shit im thinking about now.
YES I HATE.

i have so many things to do now.
I have project due on friday.
I have interview tomorrow.
I have music test on saturday.
I have to download songs NOW/ TMR MORNING for sugarloaf on friday.
I have millions of peer appraisal that i need to complete.
I am so tired now.

The reason im struggling hard now, is because I dont want friendship to turn into shit. Cos I got a feeling that IT WILL TURN SO.

Current Mood:

frustrated

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23 January 2009 @ 02:33 am

you dont have to be god to see a person's true colour.

Its only when shit hits, you see who's still there with you.

projects projects. projects are not just projects. its a chance to know people and see who they really are. it lets you know who you can trust or work with next time.

its really hard for me to still carry on with people whom i call friends. i cant just pretend nothing happened. when deep down im burning with anger or should i say disappointments. friends are not friends. what is a true friend? i have no idea. i dont understand or maybe im thinking too much and trying to understand why all this is happening. It is my phrasing of sentence? or people just take my help for granted? no idea. this is just god trying to let me know that this world is not as good as i think.

i hate it when people take things for granted. this is plain shit in its best hurting form. are people insensitive or what? fuck it man. now i cant even complain to the one i call friend. this is frustrating. i dont even know whose side you are on. its just me left in my own world. well, i dont need anyone. friends come and go anyway. that's why its better to classify people as schoolmates, classmates and workmates.

i think im not angry. im just disappointed with the people around me. this disappointment is ___________.

fuck it. im done with my rant or what ever shit you wanna call it.

Current Location: In my room

Current Mood: SHIT

Current Music: Rainbow

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16 January 2009 @ 08:30 pm

If there's a will, there's a way.

Hello Livejournal.
Im here to update on my boring/busy life.

I like my legs from far. They look fair and smooth and pretty. This is so deceiving man. HAHA.

Had my OSIP interview on thursday. Nowadays im able to keep my anxiety and stay calm BUT not for long. I was still calm and taking things easy before i went in the room. But once i got in and sat down, the anxiety that hit me was bad. Well, not as bad as i thought, since im still able to type here. The interview was actually casual and easier since our teachers are interviewing us. But, i call it SELF-TENSE.

I could not think as quick when im disturbing others. I just could not talk like normal. But I still hope that i can go for OSIP. Its not good to underestimate ur competitors. Cos I will never know what they have under their sleeves.

I know they confirm will ask this question:" Tell me about yourself" I am Myself. How can i get stucked at this kind of question. DUH? I could have said more about myself but no point regretting now anyway. I need to prepare myself so much more before interview next time.

Had Profficiency Test today. Just pouring wine. Easy but not quite easy. I could feel Mr Goh's AURA when i was pouring wine. Kinda embarrasing to pour and "Vibrate" my hand at the same time. And 3 freaking drops of water cost me 15 points and Finger prints and 2 wine glasses cost me dont-know-how-many points.

Test again tmr. Which means i need to start memorizing the SOP for the mocktails. Should be easy shit. HAHA.

Applied for PDL and FTT already. FTT is on 17FEB. Seriously cant wait to drive. YOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO.

Seriously, recently, the wind is abit tooooooo much. I have to wear jacket during the afternoon. At night, the feet and the hands are so cold. God trying to let us feel the already over winter season ah? Or trying to help us cut air-con bills? Okay i shall thank god now. Since he is feeling kind. Haha.

Anyway, brother tan just came back from malaysia. and i bought eclairs for him. what a sweet sister i am. omg. im so proud of myself. hahahhaa. the good and kind angel STOPS HERE MAN.

TMR im going to wake him up early in the morning like how he did it to me ever since he started school this year. EVERY MORNING 6.30AM WAKE UP WATCH TV then EVERY MORNING i will wake up slam the damn door and go to sleep. what an asshole he is. ONE EYE FOR ONE EYE MAN. YOU DIE. hahaha.

Shall start cleaning room and bake CNY cookies!

Current Mood:

cold

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11 January 2009 @ 09:33 pm

Good life/Bad life=Still life

I just realised i have a blog. haha.
okay im kidding. i know i have a blog.

im so busy this few weeks. busy with school, projects, school, test, projects, assignments, due dates. its all about school.

im slapped with projects. luckily its going to be over soon. which means year 3 is coming so freaking fast. which means im going for sip soon. going for osip interview next week! i hope i can go osip. im fine with either bahrain/sanya :D

chinese new year is coming soon! but im not very excited about it. chinese new year = exams coming soon. i still have projects to do,cookies to bake,profficiency test to take and room to clean before new year. sigh. what a new year.

im taking my basic theory test on tuesday! i hope i pass. well, this should not be a problem. hahaha. i found people to sponser my pratical already. hoho. im driving sooonnnnnn~

will send photos to eileen and janice soon. i think i owe you christmas photos right?

need to watch little nyonya re-ending soon. kinda weird huh? what's the point of having a 5 min re-ending? hello?!this is life. you dont get to choose another ending. so i dont really see the point.

but luckily, to balance up this unfair and no re-ending life, you get to see cute guys. haha

im sleeping so well this few days. in chinese its called one sleep till morning. shall end here. good night everybody.

Current Mood:

sleepy

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09 December 2008 @ 05:00 pm

all i want for christmas is...to be with you

old pictures that brings back good old memories.

time flies and im already eighteen now.
being eighteen means i have to be more matured, more responsible, more plannings for my future.
being eighteen means i have to grow up.

growing up means alot of things.
means i need to think with sense now.
means i need to stop being a fangirl.
means i need to work hard to build my future career
means i have to think about future
means i have to stop dreaming

this future thingy is giving me stress. though i do look forward to it.
i have no idea what is in my future. nobody knows it anyway.
maybe maybe maybe.

this i-am-already-eighteen-now feeling is kinda bad i guess.
or maybe its just me thinking way too much.
i wish life can be simple.
i wish i can think lesser and be less picky and be less random and be less bitchy. haha.
i wish im contented with what i have.

damn. i have not started revision.

Current Location: HOME

Current Mood:

stressed

Current Music: PICTURE OF YOU; TVXQ

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23 November 2008 @ 05:25 pm

its a love/hate thing

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD AND BRO!

im a happy girl. getting happier each day. hoho.
anyway. im getting bitchier each day too. i dont know what's wrong with me.
im just being straight forward. and most of the times when i joke, i dont mean it.
if you know me well enough, you will know that im joking.
for those who think im plain rude,
you think i care?
hahahaha.
if i bother caring about so many people's thoughts, i will be way too busy.

and, i just signed my resignation letter last night.
though my boss have not approve it. i hope next saturday is my last day.
working at tcc is a love/hate thing.
i love the place. but i hate some of the people there.
i hate lazy people. i seriously hate them. they make my blood boil and my eyes roll.

now for something happy,
im going KL soon! cant wait to shop till i drop. hohoho.

xmas is coming soon. but my boyfriend is not coming soon.
i guess i will have to search harder next year, in order to get married at 18. haha.

wee ru xin and chin yu ling! meet up on monday k? cya!

Current Location: home

Current Mood:

hungry

Current Music: stomach's growling

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04 November 2008 @ 08:50 pm

BUSY BUSY BEE

RANDOM TRIP TO MALAYSIA

i swear malaysia is very hot. i think: 5 mins out under the hot sun = super tan. the temperature there is so much higher than singapore. when at malaysia, number one thought: i love singapore.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

its already the 3rd week of school. time flies too fast. i need to prepare and be ready for exams soon before it comes without me knowing.i need to work harder. i dont wish to regret and just say "if only".

other than exams, school is fun. my coursemates are fun.sean made me laughed till i couldnt catch my breathe.

CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKE

i am no longer the girl who baked cake without eggs and pile pastry cream on it and still calling it style.

dearest me baked this on a beatiful sunday before i went work. its my first time doing it and i think its passable standard. i think its nice but abit sweet. come my house and i will bake it for you! hoho. im so proud of myself. haha

DEAREST CHUN

my hot love.

now i need to go hang clothes and iron my uniform for tmr. need to slp early! NIGHTS(:

Current Mood:

busy

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11 October 2008 @ 08:10 pm

love, touch me not

as usual im having chaotic thoughts. one part of me wants to let go of my unhappiness and blog happily. but..
so yeah. i shall see what my hands type out.

thought alot on my way back from work ytd.
i dont like it when nobody bothers to care about me. in fact i hate it. i think i sound childish. but this is me.
nobody cared if i had break ytd. just bcos im a part timer? or bcos im not important?
im blaming myself now. i blame myself for needing the money. i blame myself for being a coward and not standing up for my rights. i blame myself for being such a loser.
that was ytd's work.

dinner with family was not any better.
what's the point of asking where i wanna go for dinner when you dont even go there after my suggestion?
might as well dont ask? why cant you just speak up? if you need to go somewhere, why cant you just tell us? i hate it when you do this. i really do hate you now. you are such a loser. that's why im such a loser too. fuck.

everything was ok today until just now.
dinner was shitty. i hate it when people ask questions when they already have the answer.
and i dont take jokes when im not in the mood to joke with you.
this is my fucked up dinner with relatives.

i have so much to say. so much more.

there's no such thing as love. looking at the things that are happening now, im losing my thin faith in love and life.
im so glad that i dont have any love for guys now. and i intend to keep it this way.
guys are brainless jerks. i have seen them and i dont intend to have them.
i believe that i will live so much better without them.
love shall not touch me anymore.

i hate my life now. maybe i should thank god? if making me feel like shit is part of ur plan, your plan is such a success. thank you for making my life miserable. amen.

Current Mood:

melancholy

Current Music: HEY!(Dont bring me down); TVXQ

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30 September 2008 @ 12:06 pm

F1

PICTURES! finally have time to update.
F1 was fun and tiring.
i'm proud to be a TP student. for those who think that shatec is better than TP, HELL NO. slap urselfs twice.
we have much more discipline then them. oh PLS.

anyway, work later 2-12.
im dying soon. i hope i do.
i hate working with rubbish. i dont deserve shit.
im not a very happy person recently. im a miserable and poor young teenage who have lost hope in life.

Current Mood:

blank

Current Music: 노을.. 바라보다 (Noeul...Baraboda; Look at…the Glow) (Picture Of You); TVXQ

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